Marianne the Gossip
by Dark Mephiles
Summary: Marianne is Horrified. Charles is Proud. Euphemia is confused. Clovis is perverted. Mao is Enraged. Naoto is overjoyed and V.V doesn't seem to care either way. Lelouch/C.C


**Disclaimer: I don't own Code Geass. If I did Lelouch wouldn't have died at the end and C.C. would have become emperess.**

Hey I haven't submitted anything in a while and recently saw Code Geass so I thought I'd just submit a small oneshot to tide everyone over before I manage to get the next chapters to my stories up, I've been fairly busy but I may be able to get one chapter of something up this weekend, tell me what you want and I'll get it... Despite the fact that all my stories are in other catagories.

Anyway enjoy. Note is completely a crack fic and should not be taken seriously at all.

* * *

Marianne was very happy with her afterlife, she got to do whatever she wanted at her leisure, had a loving husband and two innocent and adorable children, she got to speak with her best friend C.C in the world of the living whenever she wanted and at the same time could actively help contribute to her dream of the apocalypse... I mean the Ragnarok connection.

Letting out a yawn Marianne looked around, although she enjoyed her life it did get a bit boring at times, there weren't really any pressing issues that she had to deal with here after all, unlike when back when she was a royal consort.

"Dammit Charles, now would be a good time to visit." She muttered to herself absentmindedly. Unfortunately not counting Charles's absence she didn't really want to talk to anyone here either, Euphemia was rather naive and somewhat annoying and Clovis was just a massive pervert who spent most of his days wallowing about the fact that he didn't have a penis anymore. Nearly everyone else here was just a stuck up noble, (It turns out that there was a specific area of the afterlife for rich people), and she didn't really find it interesting at all as most were just stuck up pricks who just spent most of their time talking about how much land they USED to own or a knight that spent most of their time trying to kiss her ass. Heck she'd even be glad to have a visit from V.V. at the moment, and that eternally prepubescent little prick was the one who shot her in the first place, honestly she couldn't understand how someone like that was related to her sweet, kind and loving husband... okay maybe she could.

Suddenly a light bulb flicked in her mind. "I know I'll just see what C.C. is up to." And with that Marianne proceeded to open her mind up and connect it with her dear bestest friend ever...

"Hi C.C. what's..." Marianne cheerfully began before realising three things.

1/ C.C. was naked and thinking impure thoughts about her sweet, innocent little boy

2/ Her sweet innocent little boy was also naked and most likely also thinking impure thoughts

3/ Her sweet innocent little boy was currently making thrusting motions with C.C and both were moaning rather loudly.

"WHAT DOES THAT... THAT** SLUT **THINK SHE IS DOING WITH MY LITTLE BOY!" Marianne shouted out, angrily while cutting her mental link with C.C.

A passing noble stopped and looked at her like she was an idiot, "I believe dear madam that that slut as you put it, as well as your little boy were engaged in consensual sexual intercourse." He said while taking a sip of tea and walking away.

No how could this happen? Marianne thought worriedly how could her sweet little boy... Ok he might have led a rebellion against his father, been responsible for the death of numerous innocent people and personally been responsible for the death of two of his siblings but at least he was innocent in THAT sense at least.

And C.C., her supposed best friend, how could she do this to her, she knew that Lelouch was her son but she still did that with him, her poor boy was just a teen how could she seduce him like that, her poor boy was probably traumatised, when she got her hands on her she'd make C.C. wish she was dead... okay she was already wishing for that, but she'd want to be dead even more so than she did already... actually considering that she herself was already dead than wouldn't C.C have to be dead before she could get her hands on her, so therefore wouldn't she have to make C.C wish she was alive... Damn being dead could be confusing sometimes.

* * *

She was interrupted from her musing when she saw her husband arrive. Turning around and running over to him she started crying into his shoulder, "Charles 'sob' it's horrible 'sob' Lelouch... my poor 'sob' baby 'sob' Lelouch..."

"What happened?" Asked Charles Zi Brittania in a concerned tone, for the first and only time in his life.

"Lelouch and C.C., that... that SKANK I saw them they... they were having..." Marianne found herself unable to finish the sentence.

Looking up at the emperors face she was rather surprised to see his expression of disgust, it was frightfully similar to his expression of pride...

"THAT'S MY BOY!" Emperor Charles yelled out, his voice full of pride.

... Yep that was his expression of pride he was wearing earlier.

"Doing it with older women at his age, just like his old man, I'm so proud!" Charles continued whipping a prideful tear out of his eye.

"Charles dear I think your missing the point..."

"And with a woman like that to, and since she won't age I doubt she'll ever go down in quality over time..."

"Charles..."

"I knew sending his to a country that was about to be invaded was a good thing, manned my boy up until he became the lady killer he is today just like his old man..."

"CHARLES!"

"My goodness what's all this racket?" Clovis La Britannia said walking over to the group a;png with his half sister Euphemia Li Britannia.

"Your Brother just got laid." Charles said happily

"Oh, which one?" Clovis said, fully paying attention now.

"Lelouch" Charles continued happily

"Father..." Clovis began, "You are aware that Lelouch killed us and led a rebellion against you right?"

"True." Charles began, "But in light of recent events I think we can overlook that, now if you'll excuse me I need to go spread the word" Charles said walking away with Marianne following close behind.

* * *

"Clovis," Euphemia began, "What does getting laid mean?"

"Well you see sister..." Clovis began, "When two people love each other very much., they hug each other for a long time, and then when both are ready the man, places his 'beep' into the woman's 'beep' and then proceeds to 'beep' the 'beep' out of her 'beep' until the man 'beep's' all of her."

"Oh" Euphemia said, "I think me and Suzaku did that once, but he called it sex."

"It's the same thing." Clovis said said absentmindedly, "Wait, what did you just say!"

"Me and Suzaku had sex, what about it Clovis." Euphemia asked, curious

"Nothing, just don't tell father about that." Clovis said.

"Why not?"

"Do you remember what happened to the former knight of seven?"

"Yeah wasn't he labelled as an enemy of Brittania and didn't the military along with the entirety of the knights of the round get sent after him?"

"You got that half right, the real reason was he slept with Guinevere and father sent them after him in rage... then again if you do tell him you'll probably see Suzaku again sooner."

Euphemia wisely chose to keep her mouth shut.

* * *

"Hey you Eleven guy." Charles said walking past a young Japanese man and a chinese man.

The young man turned to face the emperor with a look of pure rage on his face, "Yes, what is it?" He said icily.

"My son, Lelouch just got laid." The Emperor said proudly.

The mans face turned white, "What did you just say?"

"My son Lelouch just got laid by some hot green haired chick." The emperor said before moving of to continue spreading the good news.

Letting out a sigh of relief the Japanese man took a swig out of his bottle of alcohol before speaking to himself, "You're sisters virginity is safe for another day, good work Naoto, good work. Say is something wrong Mao?"

Mao just let loose a scream of rage.

"DAMN YOU LELOUCH VI BRITANNIA!"

* * *

"Hey Bro guess what."

"What?" V.V said irritated looking up from his work.

"Lelouch just got laid."

"Charles." V.V. began. "In case you've forgotten Lelouch is our enemy, I really don't think his sex life is any of our concern."

"It was with C.C."

"Again, I fail to see how that is any concern of ours, despite the fact that he engaged in relations with a former college of ours."

"Your just jealous that one of your nephews is more of a man than you are."

"As I say every time we go through this, that's your fault, one of us had to accept the code and it you refused."

"Well of course I did, I wasn't going to go through life stuck as a scrawny ten year old midget.

V.V.'s eye twitched, "Just get out."

"Fine, later loser."

* * *

"Marianne."

"Marianne"

"MARIANNE"

"What is it you slut."

"That's rather rude of you."

"Well you did sleep with my son."

"Of course, his bed is the most comfortable one in the entire apartment ."

"You know what I ment."

"Oh, so you found out about that huh."

"Yes I did, you could have given me a bit of warning you know."

"Yeah, I'm sure that would have went down well, something like, hey Marianne don't disturb me for the next two hours because I'll be fucking your son."

"Shut up."

"Would it help if I told you he was really good at it."

"NO, IT WOULD NOT!"

"Oh okay then, by the way, don't disturb me for the next two hours because I'll be fucking your son."

"DAMN YOU C.C."

* * *

_The next day at Ashford academy_

"Quite down class." The history teacher began, "Before we begin the class today though, his majesty Emperor Charles Vi Britannia, is going to give a live speech, that is mandatory for all citizens of the empire to hear.

The class broke out in small whispers curious about what the speech could be. Lelouch in particular wondered what the speech could be about. Before the T.V. flickered on.

"Citizens of Britannia," The emperor boomed, "I stand here today to deliver to you news of great importance, my Son Lelouch vi Britannia is alive. Here's a baby picture of him right here, isn't he cute, just look at his big purple eyes" The emperor said gushing, taking out his wallet and pulling out a picture of Lelouch. Something that caused the majority of the smarter part of the class to look at Lelouch in shock.

"And more importantly than this though this is a momentous occasion, my son, my dear son, has finally gotten laid. " He boomed before finally yelling out. "ALL HAIL BRITANNIA." And the screens flickered off.

"DAMN YOU FATHER."

* * *

Hope you enjoyed.

If anyone believes this story does not desrve the M rating and would be fine under T please tell me and I'll change the rating.

Also I may do a sequel to this so if you want one please review, it's the only way I'll know!

Again please review.


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